What does this look like in real life? Does it mean we never sin, never get angry, never say the wrong thing or stumble in our walk? What does it mean when the Lord talks of looking for hearts fully committed to him?
I read this verse and am convinced he can’t be talking about me. The desire is there to be fully committed, but my life tells a different story. My life is messy, smelly at times with sin, I get frustrated, say the wrong things….frankly this verse can’t be talking about someone like me….but then I realize that he’s looking at the heart.
If God just looked at my life he would pass by without a second glance. I’m a mess. There is nothing of the material saints are made of in my life, nothing that would tell you I’m a godly man, very little of a holy life for others to see and evaluate.
In fact, if I were under close scrutiny to evaluate my life and determine if I were a Christian I think I would fail the test. Fruit rejected. Life a waste. Failure.
But then I reread these words…God is looking for hearts fully committed. I so want to be that person, that fully committed one. Can my heart be fully committed and my life an utter mess? If God is looking for fruit, I fail. If he’s looking for a heart that wants to please him no one wants that more than I.
How do I reconcile this paradox? How do I bring together a heart that wants God with all that is in me and a life that wanders, choices that are messy, a life that doesn’t look much different than the world around me at times?
I don’t know. I only know this…when his eyes pass my way he will see a messy life, but a heart that truly wants to be fully committed to him. In the mess of all of this all I can do is trust him to help me follow my heart’s passion for him.