So many things are out of reach as well as out of our ability to control, but our behavior, that’s not one of those things.

When we are choosing joy, we need to realize that what we say, think, do as well as how we treat ourselves matters.

If it matters to you, then it matters to God.  He cares. 

Kay tells us that “Unresolved emotional pain and brokenness can make choosing joy on a daily basis challenging” and that we need to take care of ourselves.

Choosing joy is not always easy and sometimes can be most difficult, but it is possible to do so and to choose joy daily.

She gives us some practical things that will help us in our desire to choose joy:

• Look for a Joy Mentor – find someone who is more than just a happy personality, but rather a sister that will find joy in the tears, God in the ordinary and is thankful for the perfect will of God even though it is painful. Release the little girl in you to experience unbridled joy.  I love that she calls children “joy factories,” as they truly do just soak up the precious moments surrounding them.
• Avoid Small Potatoes – I often remind people that it’s the little things that make life big. While completely true, it’s also the little things that steal your joy.  Traffic, spat with family, flat tires, things not going the way as planned, etc.  Joy thieves are waiting in each instance of your day for one purpose…to steal your joy.  You get to choose if you hand it over willingly or not.  Choose wisely.
• Rediscover Pleasure – I often talk about ordinary joy and the hidden treasures in our day to day life. I tease my boss sometimes by saying “I want it all and I want it wrapped” but truth is, we do want the best of the best and often miss the greatest joys in the most ordinary of things.   The feeling of stomping through puddles, the giggles of joy when romping through grass, the cheesy look of the full moon as he lights up the darkest night.  When you open your eyes to see the treasures in the ordinary, they quickly become priceless treasures.
• Express Affection Extravagantly – I’m a hugger. When you meet me, you’ll likely get a hug, huge smile and hearty hello.  Many people can barely make eye contact, much less express affection in this manner.  I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone when in public this week and smile bigger, greet others with a warm handshake or if circumstances allow it a warm hug.  You’ll be amazed at what it does for YOUR heart.
• See the Humor – I love laughing. Often when I’m laughing, I don’t realize it but I carry a lot of volume, and sometimes my children don’t see the humor in that. Making the best of the worst situations sometimes requires seeing the humor.  Sometimes you are the one that can point it out, when no one else even sees it.  Recently we had our family vacation.  Whirlwind, lots of driving but lots of fun.  On the way home we had a plan to just drive straight through (12 hours) and take one day to rest before finishing up our final trip home, another 13 hours.  Four hours into the trip our tire blows.  We don’t have a special tool we need to change it, so what went from normal 30 minute inconvenience was now an almost 5 hour ordeal.  We “picnicked” on the side of the interstate, laughed and had a good time while basking in the morning/afternoon sun.  We get another 3 hours under our belt and another tire “sounded funny.”  We pull over and sure enough the tread is ripped and the tire needed to be replaced.  We immediately find a Wal-Mart Tire Center, take it in while they are changing the 2^nd tire, we shop.  We are laughing at the craziness of it all when my son hugged me and said “Mom, I’m glad you are my mom, because with anyone else, this would have really been bad.” I reminded him we can’t change the situation so we needed to simply enjoy it and reminded him that we may never know what God protected us from.  Find the humor!  Kay reminds us that “when you recognize both the pain and the humor around you, you take another step toward knowing true joy.”
• Practice Gratitude – Even if we are never blessed with another “great thing” we can always be grateful for our home in heaven, the amazing grace of God and His never ending mercy. There is always something to be thankful for. Question is, will you see it during the storm that rages?  Will you see it in the ordinary?  Will you be looking for it?  When you are thinking about all the great things that surround you, you will be thankful.
• Live in the Moment – I love those precious moments where joy just bursts into your heart from the most unexpected places! Trouble is, we want to live there all the time.  If we were to never experience pain or sorrow, we could never truly experience great joy.  Stop looking at the trouble you are enduring and focus on the priceless moments of joy and blessings.  If your sorrows are so great, grief so heavy and burdens are so deep, then take time each day to focus on the blessings of heaven, amazing grace and God’s great mercy by way of the gift of the cross. Live in that, even when the storm is raging.
• Find the Blessing in the Mess – Have you ever watched a child play in the rain, mud or even finger paint? Have you just quietly observed their smile and laughter or do you see just the mess they are making? Inside of every mess we get ourselves into, or the ones that seem to sneak up on us, there IS a blessing.  I have no clue what it could be, but seek it out! Look for it! If you never find the blessing in the mess, then trust God to work it out for your good.
• Passing the JOY on – Our tag line at Spreading Joy Corporation is “There’s no joy like spreading joy.” There simply isn’t. If you want joy to be at your very core, then “give.”  If you want to have joy flooding your heart each day, then “do.” If you want joy to be a way of life, then “serve.” Don’t think about how you’ll be thanked, who will see, how much value your act of joy is worth, just do it.

JOY is a choice!

Create JOY, Cause JOY and Spread JOY while you are choosing JOY!

Thank you for allowing me the honor of leading this Bible Study.  Thank you for the desire to be men and women of joy!

If you’d like more help and/or ideas about Spreading Joy, you can check out our book here, Spreading Joy Daily as well as our most popular articles encouraging you in JOY listed here.  http://www.spreading-joy.org/site/quick-links/

Download your free PDF Worksheet Here 

Discussion Questions

1. How can you choose joy daily?
2. What does the Lord is your strength mean to you?
3. Psalm 126:5 – what does that mean to you? How can you apply it to your daily life

The post Joy is a Choice of My Behavior first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Joy is a Condition of my Heart Week 3

Before this study, have you ever really thought about joy being a heart matter?

In our day to day life, there are so many uncertain things, uncontrollable things and scary things.  Those are the kinds of conditions that we simply have no control over.  The condition of our heart is completely ours to control.

You may have heard the saying

J = Jesus

O = Others

Y = Yourself

While this saying is completely true, the problems come in when we forget the “Y” in joy.

As ladies, we are typically so busy being wonder woman wife, caring daughter, fearless mom, awesome employee, awesome employer, leader, blogger, and a whole host of other things that we forget to take some time out for ourselves.

Kay reminds us that to nurture and build joy in ourselves we must:

• Focus on Grace
• Trust God for the Future
• Have Balance in our Life
• Practice Acceptance

“Happiness comes unbidden and unexpectedly and can leave just as abruptly; joy can be available anytime, anywhere, anyplace but it is a result of our decision to choose it.”  ~ Kay Warren

As a child of the King, doing the things listed above doesn’t give us the right to trample all over God’s amazing grace and live a life that will kill our relationship with God, but on the other hand, never obeying the Word of the Lord will also kill our relationship with God.

Choosing joy isn’t always easy, but that is where our faith grows.

All of us at some point will experience great sorrow, but IN that great sorrow is an Almighty God that will never leave us alone.

Doing the things Kay reminds us of will get our minds and hearts in the right direction.  Take time daily to do something for yourself that will warm your heart and bring a smile to your face.

We forget that WE are loved unconditionally by our heavenly Father even though He knows the worst in us.  He chooses to love us in spite of our short comings.  Yes, we want to get better, yes we want to reflect HIS love and compassion and yes, we want to ultimately live like Jesus.  As long as we remain in our human body, we will fall short.

Extend yourself some grace while trusting the Lord.  When you fall short, stumble or even freak out over various situations – ask God to forgive you, forgive yourself and then take the next step. Doing this for yourself will allow you even more freedom to nurture joy in others.

Nurturing Joy in Others:

• Believe the Best about Others
• Offer Nonjudgmental Love
• Empathize with other’s Feelings
• Appreciate Other’s efforts

When we have been hurt by others, beat down or even unappreciated, many find it difficult to extend their heart to spread joy to others.  It’s painful.

Sometimes believing the best about others will turn out that we were completely wrong in our beliefs.  They control what we see, they show us only what they want us to see, and then the truth comes out (it always does) and we are hurt because we are taken advantage of.  Don’t let this stop you from making a difference in the heart and life of others.

We need to push past our hurts, our fears and the things that hold us back from making a difference for others.  We will disappoint others as well as be disappointed.

We also need to push past our guilt when trying to make a difference for others’.  Many of us desire to do more or value what we do for others based on the “cost/price” we had to pay.

Look at the few things Kay listed for us and tell me the value.  Believe, offer, empathize and appreciate are all things that will not cost us a single penny, but are priceless!  When we are giving these types of gifts, we often negate their value and as a result, feel guilty for “not doing more.”

At Spreading Joy, I’m always reminding people that everything you do impacts hearts.  Everything!

When you are making a difference for others, train your heart not to look at the price tag.  Look at the smile of those you are spreading joy to!

If finances are an issue, I have written over 100 ways to make a difference without spending a single penny.  http://spreading-joy.org/site/50-ways-to-make-a-difference-without-spending-a-penny/

Use them freely.  There is a free pdf at the end of that article as well as a link to an additional 50 ways to make a difference without spending any money.

Have fun spreading joy to others!

Download your Free PDF Worksheet here

Discussion:

Answer any or all of the following questions

1. On a scale of 1-10 how regularly do you trust God for the future
2. On a scale of 1-10 how readily do you believe the best about others
3. On a scale of 1-10 how readily do you forgive others
4. On a scale of 1-10 how often do you applaud others’ efforts

The post Joy is a Condition of my Heart first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Joy is a Conviction of My Mind Week 2

Welcome to another week of Choosing Joy.

This week we’ve taken a deep look into our own heart and mind.  If we are honest, it’s not always pretty there is it?

I love the verses found in 1 Thes 5:16-18 because they are crucial to the heart that desires true joy.

They tell us to rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks!

This starts with determination.  We must decide “do do” this because we are certainly not going to be “feeling” this.

Kay reminds us that “joy begins in the mind” and is ultimately how we respond to life.

So many things bring us great joy but those things can and sometimes will bring great sorrow.

People – The very same people that bring you the greatest joy will one day bring you more tears than you ever imagined. We are all human and we will disappoint…it’s just a matter of time.

Places – Not every place we travel to or explore will bring us the joy we thought it would.  Sometimes, it simply isn’t all our heart imagines.

Possessions – Keep in mind just how miserable the “Hollywood” crowd often is.  They have the nicest of things, shop in the greatest stores but often swim in great misery and pain.

Positions – In this day and age, positions come and go.  Many who hold this as a source of joy will often find themselves discouraged.

Personality – Shy, awkward and backwards people can have just as much joy as the most outgoing extrovert you’ve ever met.

The good and the bad go hand in hand.  Joy and sorrow are right there in the midst of all of these situations and it is our choice to let go of the high expectations of perfection and greatness that keep us pinned down and often miserable.

When we realize one fundamental thing, we’ll be able to start seeing and choosing joy in nearly everything.

JOY is in our heart, simply because Jesus is there.

When we look at the everyday with the knowledge that Jesus is in control, Romans 8:29, Jeremiah 29:11 and Eph 2:10 still hold true and that our hope is in the One who spoke this world into existence, then joy will not be as elusive as it once was.

Where is your heart at these days? Matthew 6:21 tells us that “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” 

Have you ever really considered that Gods Will can be painful?  I have, but this year it has hit home more than ever. As a mom, I treasure my children and want the best for them.  My son is currently in the middle of God’s will, serving and seeking where God will use him as a Youth Pastor.  You think…wow, that is wonderful Marie! Congratulations!  And it IS wonderful….but at the same time, painful.  This year will be his last year in college and the pain comes in that I simply miss him.  I miss the hugs, the laughter, the jokes, and the silliness.  I miss his serious when necessary side.  I miss him.  But this IS God’s will for him and there isn’t a single day that goes by that I’m not thankful for him being where he is.

Sometimes a period of darkness is God’s will for us as well.  I’ve been there.  It’s difficult, scary and we wonder if we’ll ever make it through.  But we do and we are never alone.

I wrote an article a while back about peering into the darkness and what we see there.

What do we typically see in the darkness? 

• Nothing…and in abundance
• Fear
• Intimidation
• Hopelessness
• Despair
• Loneliness
• Danger
• Enhanced Pain (pain is always worse at night isn’t it?)
• Discouragement
• Shame
• Guilt

And I literally could go on and on because “SEEING” the negative is so much easier than seeing the positive in every situation.

We forget that our darkness is another way for our Lord and Savior to remind us that HE Lives! He lives in our darkness along side of us!

 When you peer into the darkness KNOWING that God is with you, you’ll see:

• Peace that surpasses all understanding
• JOY unspeakable
• Light that brightens up the darkest of nights
• Hope, never ending
• Mercy, renewed each day
• Grace, marvelous grace
• Courage, because your Father HAS you
• Comfort, knowing you are not alone
• Faith, because HE will never leave you

It is a natural thing to fear the darkness and takes work to get to a place where we can see God there.  But like Kay tells us, it starts in the mind….

Will you surrender to God in the Darkness?  Will you believe that you will find treasures of joy, blessings and meaning there?  Will you cling to God’s promise that HE will never leave you, even when you feel completely alone?

Remember Kay’s prayer “may the pain I am in push me toward a great passion for you and a greater joy in you.”

My daughter spent 5 years fighting a painful battle – Gastroparesis. Her stomach was paralyzed.  She experienced flu symptoms every time she ate.  Take your worst stomach flu, the cramping, the pain and aches and the vomiting and when she eats, that is what was happening.  She had about a year where she only had the pain and she celebrated that! She loved that she could eat without the vomiting and pushed past the pain and just enjoyed each day.  Then out of nowhere it returned.  We now know that when she is under extreme emotional distress her stomach muscles will stop working and she can only drink liquids.

Will she use this pain to fuel her passion for the Lord? I don’t know.  She trusts Him, she still lives and serves the Lord but all of this is hard for me to process, much less a (then) 17 year old mind.

I don’t know what God has in store for her, but I do know that HE is in control and I trust Him.

My prayer for you is that you’ll look for the good in the bad, the light in the dark and God’s hand in everything.  Treasure the beauty in the ordinary and the little things in life that make it big!

Dwell on this – What are some of the little things in your life that make it big? Do you treasure them?

Remember, I’ve got JOY in my heart, because that is where Jesus lives!

Download your Free PDF Worksheet

Choose to answer any or all of the following questions:

1. Think about a time of deep sorrow in your life, one that has passed. What treasure did you find?
2. “God values character over comfort, faith over fear, mercy over judgment, justice over injustice, people over possessions, truth over falsehood, humility over pride, hope over despair, love over apathy.” Where did you see the value system of heaven in your life?
3. What false sources of joy trap you? Is it people, places, possessions, positions or personality?
4. What would it take for someone to describe you as a woman of joy?

The post Joy is a Conviction of my Mind first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Joy is my Inheritance

What an exciting introduction to Choosing Joy by Kay Warren!  Have you ever taken time to ponder the thought that Joy IS our inheritance?  Pure joy as we walk the streets of gold, as we live in mansions prepared for us, as we finally see our Savior face to face?  That inheritance is waiting for us AND if the Lord did nothing more for us while we were here on earth, that would still be reason enough to choose joy in our daily lives!

Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t stop with the joy of heaven?  The mercy and grace that He gives to us each day is simply amazing.

I love the authentic honesty that Kay Warren starts out this study with.  I love the fact that she lays it all out for us saying that Joy is a choice and that yes, even though we are Christians, we still struggle to find joy in the most difficult, darkest times of our lives.

We tend to forget about the verses that tell us to “Count it all JOY” when we face trouble, like James 1:2 reminds us to do.  Also John 16:33 tells us that we WILL have tribulation in this world, but it doesn’t end there, it also reminds us that Jesus has overcome this world.

When we are struggling to see joy in our trials and we fail to, it brings about guilt, depression and makes us wonder within our heart “why bother.” That guilt weighs us down and wears us out to exhaustion and then we are no longer effective for the Kingdom of the Lord.  If we are doing nothing but drowning in guilt and depression, then the enemy has won that battle.

Keeping in mind what Kay says “Joy and sorrow will always be linked” we can truly step back from our trials and remember Romans 8:28 “ALL things work together for good” even if we can’t see it right now, or if it’s been many years, we can always trust God to work it out for our good.

As Kay points out that yes, even though Jesus was a man of sorrow, He was also a “vibrant, compassionate man, a man of both sorrow and joy who could enter fully into life with all its brokenness.”

Let’s strive to be like Jesus this week and be:

• A Woman of JOY through our Attitude – We can’t change what happens, but we can control how we react to various situations.
• A Woman of Joy through our Words – Words are lasting! Good or bad, your words will linger in someone’s heart!
• A Woman of Joy through our Actions – Jesus was a servant! As you are making a difference for others, your heart will be flooded with great joy!

As you go through your week, seeking to choose joy, remember Kay’s definition of joy.

“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

What have you allowed to hold you back from living a life of joy?  Before I answer this, I want to remind you that pain is pain…regardless of what kind – it ALL hurts.  Many feel that there are big hurts, little hurts and everything in between, but, keep in mind pain hurts.

Even though I’m a pretty joyful, roll with it kind of gal, I struggle with seeing the good in the negative just like many others do.  The worst time was when my father died.  I knew it was coming, the doctors told us he had 6 months due to a worn out heart.  I tried to prepare others, get cousins, family and friends to come and see him and say what they wanted to say.  I moved in with him to help him with various physical limitations he had towards the end.

I thought I was ready.

I thought wrong. 

For nearly 2 years afterwards, I was such a deep depression that I hardly remember any of it.  There was no scrapbooking, no journaling, no nothing.  I went to work or church and came home to sleep.  That was it. It wasn’t until I started pouring myself into others that needed help, senior ladies in my church that wanted to be a “secret sister” but couldn’t afford to.  I asked people to donate things they could use and started praying more, covering the pain and guilt of not being able to “fix him.”  I knew that I had done all I could for my dad, but the loss was so great that it stole my joy for a long time.  He would not be happy with that as he was a “giver.” We never had a lot growing up, but we always gave to others and helped where we could.

Do one thing a day for someone else.  This will take your eyes off of your pain and troubles for just a little bit and allow you to see the needs of others.  Also, do something you enjoy daily.  These things do not have to require money, but the decision and determination to do them.

The lack of “Things” will try to steal your joy, people and their attitudes will try to steal your joy, and circumstances that are beyond your control will try to steal your joy – but remember…you have a choice.  You can choose joy.

It’s ok to choose joy in the middle of pain and sorrow.  It’s ok to let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to be happy.  It’s ok to say, “I don’t understand, but I believe God has me” and simply trust HIM.

Look to your inheritance, don’t focus on the fear or sorrows that surround you, focus on the Father!

Download your Free PDF Worksheet

Discussion – choose to answer any or all of the following:

1. What do you allow to hold you back from living a life of joy?
2. What does your faith-life reveal about the depth of your relationship with God?
3. How does it make you feel to understand that God dances over you with joy? Is that easy for you to believe? Why or why not?

**Make sure you check the box to receive the followup comments so you can communicate with others during this study

The post Joy is my Inheritance first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

I’m personally inviting you to this Choose Joy Bible Study. If you don’t have the book, I encourage you to hop on Amazon and get a copy or head over to your local Christian Bookstore and grab one there.   I’m so excited about this 4 Week Bible Study!  Joy doesn’t come easy for many of us and with the issues that we face daily, sometimes we wonder if we’ll ever see/feel or have joy again.

The truth of the matter is that we can, and on a daily basis.  Choosing joy is possible, regardless of darkness that seems to surround you.

It is my desire that as we go through this study together you’ll not only choose joy but that you’ll daily display that the JOY of the Lord is YOUR strength!  Neh 8:10.

I know how painful day after day of troubles and trials are.  I know just how frightful and discouraging life’s issues are.  I know firsthand financial troubles, health issues with children and how the sting of unemployment affects families.  I know the loneliness and fear that can consume your heart during those times of complete darkness and sorrow.  I know how tightly discouragement holds on to you, rendering you powerless to even lift your head sometimes.   I know the pain and grief of families being torn apart and loved ones dying, never to hear their sweet voices or see their precious smile again.  I know how guilt and shame leaving you feeling like you have no right to blessings.  I know how the pain of any situation is enhanced when night falls and the silence of darkness surrounds you.

But….

I also KNOW the ONE who is right beside me as I’m struggling to choose joy and trust His will!  As I’m traveling through the darkness, HE doesn’t mind living there to protect me, to strengthen me and to guide me.

Our darkest days are no surprise to HIM.  Our tears of pain, aches of discouragement and feelings of failure are no surprise to Him.  Our anger and questions screamed at the top of our hearts because we simply don’t understand does not cause Him to worry or wonder what will happen.

I know how choosing joy through all of that is possible!  It’s not us it is HIM.

Can you imagine how your heart will be swimming in true joy, even when you wonder just how things will work out at all? 

Can you imagine the joy that others around you will experience, because joy is highly contagious?

Can you imagine living a life of joy, simply because you choose to? And we know that we can do all things through Christ. Phil 4:13.

Each week there will be a pdf to download with a Memory verse and some open questions to get your heart focused on Choosing Joy.

Let’s strengthen our resolve by studying this together and choosing joy together.

Can’t wait to see you and study this with you.  Dive right in and choose joy!

The post Choose Joy Bible Study first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

God is the same as He was then.

Put Verses about Prayer throughout your home.  Commit them to memory and you’ll have them at a moments notice.

Even when the answer is NO, God always answers.  We may not understand, just like our children do not understand when we say no, but we know without a doubt we can trust Him.

Praying for a loved one to accept Christ, don’t stop

Praying for a loved one to return to Christ, don’t stop

Praying for healing, for a miracle, for yet ANOTHER miracle – do not stop!

Prayer Works!

We hope you’ll pin these verses, share on facebook and use them to remind your heart when the enemy says don’t bother, that God Hears and Answers Prayer

What are your favorite verses on Prayer? 

Do you have verses scattered throughout your home? 

The post Prayer Works first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Sometimes when our heart is in so much pain we can’t think of verses that will bring comfort.  Bookmark this page, print out these verses and keep them in your Bible or pin this page.  Whatever you need to do to help keep the verse handy.

Psalm 23:4 – Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 71:21 – You will increase my greatness and comfort me again

Psalm 77:2 – In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.

Psalm 86:17 – Show me a sign of your favor, that those who hate me may see and be put to shame because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Psalm 119:50 – This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life

Psalm 119:76 – Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant

Jeremiah 31:13 – Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry. I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted

2 Corinthians 1:3 – Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort   (Did you catch that dear Christian? the GOD of ALL COMFORT!!) 

2 Corinthians 13:11 – Finally brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you

1 Thessalonians 3:7 – for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith

2 Thessalonians 2:16 – Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace

What Verses do you turn to for comfort?

Do you have any printed out?

Will you share them in the comments below?

May the JOY of the Lord fill your heart today!

The post Verses on Comfort first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

So much joy and love, yet sometimes due to our human nature, we lash out so harshly at the ones we love the most, creating so much pain.

My son recently got married (4/12/2014) and my husband and I will be celebrating our 25^th anniversary in October, so I wanted to give some advice to the happy couple, because no matter what stage of marriage you (we) are in, the following will always apply.

1. Keep the Lord first – without Him, nothing works
2. Keep your spouse second – children grow up and go on their own journey, your spouse will be with you after they’ve left the nest
3. Keep your children and family third – yes, ministry is important and I’m 100% for it, but if you place your ministry before your children and your family then they will likely walk away from the Lord. Find a healthy balance and always….always make time for family. (Jesus always makes time for His children)
4. Always kiss goodnight
5. Hold hands as much as possible
6. Read the Bible and pray together as much as possible
7. Continue to date long after the wedding vows have been spoken
8. The treats, treasures and surprises your spouse loved before the wedding – they still love
9. Be willing to forgive….and often. Hurt is a part of the process, just like love, joy and compassion.
10. Have meals together as a family, around the table and chat. (We had a no phone rule, I would suggest you establish one as well)
11. Have some time with friends. Don’t go overboard, but still enjoy just some girl time and guy time
12. Have fun – yes, be serious when necessary, but do fun, random and silly things
13. Point out the amazing, wonderful qualities about your spouse….and do so often
14. Do things without expectations – imagine if BOTH of us did this…. complete joy
15. Pray for your spouse. Even when you are angry, hurt or mad and especially when you aren’t. You absolutely cannot stay mad at someone you are praying over daily
16. Dream together – make plans for the future. It could be a nice vacation or a weekend getaway. Plan something together that you’ll love doing
17. Speak kindly of your spouse – if you are always speaking well of them, that means you are always thinking well of them
18. Don’t Compare – This is true about anything. One of my favorite quotes is “comparison is the thief of JOY” Don’t do it.
19. Don’t Assume – Ladies, stop assuming your hints were dropped so well your husband can’t miss it. Men, if you don’t know…ask. Neither of us are mind readers.
20. Marriage is a combination of sacrifice and commitment. Commit to it, be willing to make some sacrifices along the way and watch how God can use your relationship to help inspire and encourage others.

**Bonus – Sex and Romance are two very different, yet very necessary things. Both men and women should do their part to make sure their spouse is pleased in this area.

These are just a few things that will help our relationships. What would you add?

What are you doing in your marriage to keep it strong?

Please take a few moments to add to this conversation and be a blessing to others.

Don’t forget to leave your @twitter name so we can reach out to you there.

Visit Marie at Spreading-Joy.

The post 20 Absolutes Of A Happy Marriage first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Christian Ministry isn’t just for the Pastor and Assistant Pastors of a Church. It is for every Christian.

Yes, every one of us.

There are a million excuses for why people don’t “minister” one to another but none of them are valid or reasonable.

When you move past the guilt of wishing you could do more and focus on doing what you can with the gifts the Lord has provided you, then your ministry will be an honor to the Lord.

In Matthew 25:40 – Jesus reminds us that when we do anything…even to the “least of these” it is as if we are doing it to Him. We are also reminded that something as small as a “cup of cold water” given is huge in the Lord’s eyes. (Mark 9:41 & Matthew 10:42)

So how then can we minister to people if we are not a Pastor or Assistant Pastor?

Ministries for the Average Christian:

• Ministry of Love (and mercy) –

o   Love the hurting – Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Churches should be a hospital for the broken and hurting to come and heal. Yes, we want people to grow in the grace of the Lord but we have to start with loving them first. Let God work on their hearts and we need to just love on the broken and hurting.

o   Love our leaders – We need to love our Pastors & their wife (family), Assistant Pastor & their family etc. We expect so much of God’s chosen but often completely forget that they are human. Love them, pray for them and encourage them. Every family should be an encouragement to the leadership of the church every month.

o   Love our neighbor – Yes, there will be disagreements but we need to love other families in church. Get to know new people in the Church. Get to know people on the other side of the church. Say hello, shake hands and smile at people. LOVE others.

• Ministry of Encouragement –

o   Encouraging others isn’t difficult. Listen to the prayer requests, pray over them and then write a note letting that person know you prayed for them.

o   Send cards/letters for no reason at all other than to simply encourage

o   Helping people through their pain. Especially if it’s chronic pain, encouragement is a real gift for someone struggling day in and day out.

o   Encouraging people to take the next step. Sometimes stepping out on an unfamiliar journey is made a bit easier when a little encouragement is received.

o   Sharing happiness and joy with those that are celebrating blessings from the Lord.

o   Encourage your family. Don’t forget them!

• Ministry of Giving –

o   Giving of your resources doesn’t just include financial. There are some artsy, crafty and very talented people that never use those talents for the Lord at all. Yes, give of your finances, but also, look at what you can give back from your talents and other resources.

o   Giving your time – Have you ever just went and kept someone company while they were having Chemo? While they were going through a bitter trial? While they were grieving? You don’t have to know what to say or how to say anything comforting because just the act of being there is great comfort.

• Ministry of Volunteering –

o   Teach a class, a small group or an impromptu get together

o   Open your home for a ladies night of fun food and laughter

o   Volunteer your singing abilities or instrument playing abilities

o   Volunteer to greet people at the front door of the church

o   Volunteer to help organize a missions trip

o   Volunteer to deliver flowers or books to people in the hospital

o   Volunteer to make dinners for those coming home from hospital

o   Men – volunteer to help with the maintenance of the homes of the elderly in your church/community.

o   Ladies – help with the cleaning and upkeep of the homes for some of the elderly

• Ministry of Praying –

o   When Chronic illness plagues your body, you can still pray

o   When you are busy mom of toddlers, you can still pray

o   When you are a busy businessman or woman, you can still pray

o   When you are a teen and still figuring out your journey, you can still pray

o   When you are a child, just learning to give, do and go – you can still pray

o   P R A Y – everyone can do this

 I could go on and on for days here but I won’t. I just want you to know that Ministry is for every single one of us. We are all called to live the way Jesus lived.

I’m Spreading Joy daily to people around me and you can be too. It isn’t expensive or hard and anyone can do it…including children. In addition to the ideas listed above, click the photo below and you’ll be taken to a list of 50 Ways to Make a Difference without Spending a Single Penny. No money is involved and you can impact your world for Christ!

Have fun Spreading God’s Joy and making a difference!

The post Everyday Ministries For ANY Christian first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.

Until your child has children of their own, there is no way they will ever comprehend why you do what you do.

This is why it is vital to your heart that no matter how your days, months or years work out that you place your trust in what the Lord promised you.

It seems that in this day and age where we are raising a generation that I lovingly call the “Entitlement Generation” that it is becoming more and more difficult to train up a child in the way he/she should go.

Let me remind you of a few of God’s promises:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22:6

Will your child stray? Maybe.  Will they always desire their own personal relationship with the Lord? Maybe…maybe not.  But TRUST that God has them and cling to this verse.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you – Psalm 56:3

There are times when we will fear for our children.  Trust in the ONE that loves your child more than even you do!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding – Proverbs 3:5

There will absolutely be times that you do not understand why your child is doing what they are doing.  There may be times that your heart and soul are crushed and the tears seem never ending.  TRUST HIM even when you don’t understand

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path Psalm 119:105

When you are helping to light the way for your children, USE GODS Word.  He is ever faithful, never changing and always preparing us to honor Him in some way.

What verses do you cling to when it comes to raising Godly children?

Do you have your children memorize verses so that no matter what happens they can hide Gods word in their hearts?

One last thing…sometimes there are no words of comfort on this earth.  I’d like to share 52 of God’s Promises that you can use as a Quick Reference.

Visit Marie at SpreadingJoy.

The post Train Up A Child first appeared on CHRISTIAN REP.